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Attuned to toots

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All he wanted was someone to give him a scent bouquet " a pretty little collection of certain smells that get expelled from down yonder.

Instead, he got a bit more than the nosey smorgasbord he desired.

The Oklahoman reports that an Oklahoma City man ventured online to find someone who shared his "fetish for flatulence." He met a perfect candidate through the interwebs and the two exchanged some naughty texts. Then, according to The Oke, the 27-year-old victim, who is reportedly autistic, met his online paramour at the man's apartment in late March so the dude could "fart for me," according to the police report from the incident.

But the get-together became a lot more than just a meeting of the smells. The victim told police the man sexually assaulted him and that, because he is "not much of a fighter," according to the police report, he pretended to enjoy the encounter.

The victim left later that night and didn't report the alleged assault until a few weeks ago, because he was embarrassed, according to The Oke.

We don't want to make fun of this guy, who was just trying to fulfill his own consensual, smelly desires. But if it's toots he wants, may we suggest heading to a guy's poker night or sports gathering.

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