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Chicken-Fried News: Affront to freedom

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James Anderson, 28, is a man against America.

After allegedly stealing a Dodge Ram truck and holding up three people in Fort Worth, one in Euless and two in Gainesville, Anderson succumbed to Oklahoma police, who accused him of breaking into a car in the parking lot of WinStar World Casino in Thackerville.

The alleged crimes occurred in some of the Midwest’s favorite hangouts — Wal-Mart, Subway, Home Depot, a Main Street gas station, Applebee’s — and if he had been driving a Ford, he might have gotten away with it.

According to an affidavit obtained by the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, police put out an APB (which stands for all-points bulletin) on Anderson and the stolen truck. After a crime spree that lasted two days, Oklahoma authorities with the Lighthorse Police Department of the Chickasaw Nation responded with an arrest and recovery of the vehicle.

So again, if you’re going to rob Middle America, do it in an F-150, commie.

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