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Chicken-Fried News: Bah, humbug

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Where were you on Christmas Eve?

Were you sad and alone?

Hopefully not.

Would it at least comfort you to know that on that night, no matter how lonely you were, someone somewhere was “obviously having sexual intercourse” with a goat?

Hopefully not.

Darryl Gene Scoggin, 53, was arrested after he was caught on surveillance video with his pants down, allegedly holding down a goat inside a West Oklahoma City barn, according to OKCFOX.com.

Outside of animal cruelty and concerns of consent, some readers wanted to know what happened to romance.

Did Scoggin at least buy the goat dinner first?

There have been worse first dates than enjoying a delicious, candlelit Christmas Eve dinner of hay and weeds.

Instead, police said they found a bottle of vodka in Scoggin’s jacket after he fled the scene.

Print Headline: Bah, humbug

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