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Chicken-Fried News: Biblical Worldview

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Day not going as planned?

Try biblical worldview.

Can’t balance a checkbook?

Try biblical worldview. Arguing with neighbors?

You get the point.

Oklahoma Senator-elect James Lankford, R-Oklahoma City, recently admitted that he lets his “biblical worldview” influence his daily lawmaking decisions.

Sort of like a Magic 8 Ball, yeah? Let’s try it.

Biblical Worldview, how do we get world peace?

(shakes ball)

“But do this with gentleness and respect.”

Not too bad.

Biblical Worldview, I’m still pissed off about my boyfriend kissing that girl after his Pabst beer binge last weekend. What should I do?

(shakes ball)

“Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations.’”

Perfect!

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