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Chicken-Fried News: Christie’s complot


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Police recently responded to an alleged “inside job” at a local Christie’s Toy Box location, but maybe not the type of inside job you might be imagining, recently reported.

An armed robbery occurred just before midnight Nov. 14 at the intimate adult novelty and lingerie store in the 6300 block of S. Western Avenue, the news outlet reported.

The suspect bolted with cash but no merchandise.

A news report states the suspect entered the store with a firearm drawn and demanded that clerks give him the money from the register and the safe.

This is the third time the shop has been robbed in three months, the clerk and police said.

A store employee told police that she recognized the gunman as someone who had been in the store before, Oklahoma City Police Department MSgt. Gary Knight told the news stations. spoke with a clerk who believed the holdup was an inside job.

This is no tinfoil-hat conspiracy or backdoor connection to the Illuminati.

The clerk’s suspicions were raised, reported the unidentified clerk as saying, because the gunman knew the location of the store’s panic button and warned employees not to activate it.

The suspect also allegedly knew the location of the store safe.

Local news sources reported no one was injured in the robbery.

It could also be possible that the suspected robber is no less than the ultra-deductive and intuitive Sherlock Holmes of thievery, but someone with such perceptive talent would be better off applying skills toward a higher goal, like maybe helping Nicolas Cage steal the Declaration of Independence.

Maybe it is too early to write off the Illuminati in this one.

Print headline: Christie’s complot

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