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Chicken-Fried News: Conservative moves

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INGVARD ASHBY
  • Ingvard Ashby

Some Oklahomans are probably desensitized by all the cannabis dispensaries and advertisements that pop up everywhere, but Paul Chabot, a twice unsuccessful Republican congressional candidate, is not from here. And he just wants us to please think of the children.

In a front-page story titled “Cannabis billboards irk some in state,” The Oklahoman reported that Chabot, once he entered Oklahoma from Texas, noticed several billboards advertising cannabis, which completely ruined his family’s billboard-reading game. Seriously, this was a front-page story.

Apparently, cannabis billboards are much harder to explain to his four children than Texas’ myriad erectile dysfunction, adult novelty shops and ubiquitous “You’re going to Hell” billboards.

After his second unsuccessful attempt to run for Congress in California, Snowflake Chabot retreated with his family to McKinney, Texas, because California was “overrun by illegals, drug addicts and violent criminals under the umbrella of a radical liberal ideology that has destroyed the state.”

He left his state in search of a safe space. In fact, he now dedicates his life to finding safe spaces for other conservatives around the country irked by their states. Chabot owns Conservative Move, a company that helps “right-leaning people and families relocate from liberal strongholds to red states,” which seems ironic, as he commonly tweets things like “America - Love it or leave it - there is a long line illegals waiting to take your place.”

“If it was one billboard, maybe I wouldn't have thought much about it, but this is a huge money industry,” he told The Oklahoman, which definitely needed to cover this incredibly newsworthy story on the front page. “You can tell it’s professionally marketed.”

Uh, yeah! That’s the point. We voted for medical cannabis, and now we have professionals offering services and products that can help save lives while stimulating the state economy. It’s almost like he does not respect the democratic process and would much rather subvert the people’s will, but that sure doesn’t sound like a conservative move.

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