Chicken-Fried News: Dead body

Chicken-Fried News: Dead body
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Fried chicken drumstick in isolated white background

Finding a video store is hard enough these days without also finding a dead body.

Oklahoma City Police were called to Eastern Avenue Video & Novelties, 1105 S. Eastern Ave., in the early hours of June 4 on reports of a dead man inside the store.

Enid resident Dirl Cunningham, 52, was found inside the business at about 1 a.m.

Eastern Avenue Video & Novelties is a 24-hour adult novelty store with three locations in Tulsa and Oklahoma City.

Police said Cunningham appears to have suffered a medical issue and that his death is not considered suspicious, according to NewsOK.com. Cunningham’s family told KFOR he suffered a heart attack.

Before police allayed suspicions, shoppers at the nearby Old Paris Flea Market seemed nervous about the situation.

“That don’t make me feel safe, especially bringing the kids around,” flea market shopper Zachary Corbrow told KFOR. “Things like that shouldn’t be happening when you’re bringing your family around places like this.”

Yes, finding a dead body anywhere can be pretty disconcerting and probably more so when you’re just trying to locate a VHS copy of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. So we at Chicken-Fried News have put together a quick guide for what to do if you run into a corpse.

1. Call 911. Nobody likes finding dead bodies, but the operators at 911 probably have the most experience.

2. Do not touch it. This seems obvious, but people in movies are always doing this.

3. Create a perimeter. Until the cops arrive, do your fellow shoppers a solid and keep them from making their own morbid discovery.

4. Take a deep breath. Feel that? You’re still alive. Seize the day! But not the dead body. Seriously, do not touch it.

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