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Chicken-Fried News: For whom the cock crows

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Recently, an OKC man got friendly with his rooster in the restroom of Beverly’s Pancake House. Employees called police on the mostly naked dude in the crapper, and that’s when officers caught him masturbating and naked except for a T-shirt pulled back over his head, reported KOCO. He was arrested on complaints of indecent exposure and public drunkenness.

Maybe he thought service at Beverly’s — a stalwart after-hours breakfast binge Mecca easily recognizable by the large rooster in its window — took too long so he serviced himself. Unfortunately, when he took the situation into his own hands, he got a little too cocky and forgot that this diner is a place where you’re supposed to eat the chicken, not choke it.

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