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Chicken-Fried News: Gas ’n’ go to jail



Of all the drugs they could have been carrying, Gas-X was not among them.

Arizona residents Chanele Benita Pauley, 33, and Walter Gray Rawls, 43, were pulled over shortly before Christmas in Rogers County on one of the most senseless road violations around — failure to signal a lane change — near Catoosa, according to a New York Daily News report.

A deputy said he was only going to give a warning to Pauley, the driver, except that she acted very nervous when he asked her to sit in his patrol car.

“Chanele was breathing very heavily, and I could see the carotid artery in her neck,” K9 deputy Scotty Moree wrote in an arrest report

cited by “I observed Chanele to also be shaking.”

Then, she farted.

Moree took a deep breath and investigated further.

Pauley said they were headed to Missouri.

Rawls said they were going to North Carolina.

Jack, the police dog, opted for a trip to the car’s trunk, where police discovered 8.5 pounds of meth wrapped up in boxes, like gifts from Tweaker Claus.

We at Chicken-Fried News imagine Pauley’s post-arrest jail introductions might have gone like this:

“What are you in for?”

“Ripped one in a cop car.”

Well, technically, she wouldn’t be wrong.

Print Headline: Gas ’n’ go to jail

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