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Chicken-Fried News: It belongs to KD

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(Madeline Hancock)
  • Madeline Hancock

You wouldn’t know it by his nice-guy demeanor, but Kevin Durant has one mode: competitor. KD takes no prisoners on the hardwood, status, stature or age be damned.

In fact, footage leaked just last week of Durant swatting the ever-loving crap out of a poor, overmatched toddler’s jumpshot at a youth basketball camp, something The Durantula, sadly, has a history of doing.

Really, though, these are little guys we’re talking about here — no more than four feet tall — so one can only conclude that Durant was taking out frustrations against his arch-nemesis: Lil B, The Based God.

Speaking of, in a recent lecture at MIT’s Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory, the rapper confirmed that Durant’s injury and the Thunder’s Season from Hell is a direct result of the Based God’s curse, which he cast on the NBA’s reigning MVP after Durant essentially called him a whack rapper on Twitter in 2011.

That sneaky Based God. He was supposed to have lifted the curse in 2012, granting permission to the Thunder to win the NBA Championship, but we all know how that turned out.

So it appears the Based God’s curse is alive and well, and we are all beholden to its wrath and exiled to a season of injury and suffering until the rapper deems otherwise.

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