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Chicken-Fried News: It's God time!


(Madeline Hancock)
  • Madeline Hancock

You remember those awesome field trips to the science museum you took as a kid?

Well, Skiatook Public Schools decided to scrap that science-filled nonsense in favor of a good, old- fashioned trip to the God museum.

The district is under attack from the Freedom from Religion Foundation (FFRF) for taking a school-sanctioned trip to the Safari Zoological Park in Caney, Kansas.

Yeah, there are animals and stuff there, but check out its mission statement: “We believe that all we see and know was created by GOD ALMIGHTY.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Kids just wanna see some animals, man. And what’s with the all caps? God definitely wouldn’t approve of all that yelling.

“Our mission is to show the awesomeness of our God in the individual wonder and uniqueness of all His creation.”

Awesomeness? Dude, they’re animals. You’re a zoo. Just let the kids watch Braveheart the Bengal tiger, Kojo the brown bear, Savanna the leopard, Aussie the joey red kangaroo and Yo Jojo the Celebes crested macaque. There’s plenty of learning to do while watching these glorious creatures in their natural habitats.

FFRF attorney and shade-thrower Andrew Seidel had harsh words in response to the animal-filled mission trip.

“Teaching creationism to students is neither educational nor legal,” Seidel said on the official FFRF website. “Courts have routinely found that creationism is religion, not science, despite many new and imaginative labels like ‘intelligent design.’”

Hey, at least he thinks they’re imaginative.

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