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Chicken-Fried News: It's hailing men




Damon Lane might need to rewatch Alec Baldwin’s famous scene from Glengarry Glen Ross before the next storm hits. Except instead of “always be closing,” he needs to A.B.C. — Always Be Checking.

During May 22 storms, Lane retweeted a photo shared with him by @Jaime_nicole7 with the caption “Look at the hail we got in Tuttle tonight @KOCODamonLane.” Indeed, the photo showed some nickel-sized hail in the palm of a hand. But wait; there’s more!

A.B.C. If Lane had only clicked to see the rest of the photo, he would have noticed that Jamie’s photo included a little something extra: male genitalia. That certainly gives new meaning to the term “weather dong.” (Not sure just what a weather dong phenomenon is? You can find the answer on The Lost Ogle or Reddit.)

After apologizing profusely to offended followers, Lane seemed to roll with the punches.

“I only saw hail in the pic. Didn’t see anything else. I thought, ‘ well..we have storms..there’s some hail,’” he wrote.

He also said that in the future, he will be more careful with his retweets.

Followers had fun with it, too. Some asked if that was his “hail” they were peeping, while others wanted to know if follow-up photos were safe to open.

“For every 1 person truly offended, there are a couple hundred of us laughing,” tweeted @biggy_brent. “Just include this in your next hail report. Hail stones bigger than this guy’s junk, so you got nothing to worry about.”

Heck, that just might work.

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