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Chicken-Fried News: No service

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When you feel like going on a bender, there’s no better place than the confines of McDonald’s ceiling. That’s what one unlucky Oklahoma City man thought anyway.

Thirty-two-year-old Clayton Davidson fell through the ceiling tiles of McDonald’s at 2101 NW 23rd St., near Pennsylvania Avenue, earlier this month, causing thousands of dollars in damage.

Have we mentioned he was stark naked? There was nary a stitch on him.

News9.com reported that court documents show police found “shoes, pants and a bottle of alcohol” in the ceiling and Davidson faces felony charges for destruction of public property.

We have many questions — What was he doing in the ceiling? How did he get in there, and why didn’t anyone see him? Wouldn’t the insulation in the ceiling be really itchy? — but what we really want to know is where he left his socks, shirt and underwear.

When we go on benders, we prefer to eat our 20-piece chicken McNuggets alone, in the privacy of our living rooms, in front of our TVs. We also try to make ourselves wear underwear, at the very least — it’s what separates us from the animals.

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