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Chicken-Fried News: Off script



OK, readers; it’s Chicken-Fried joke time! Get ready for a real knee-slapper! Ahem ahem. Why didn’t the SUV know not to drive into the bookstore?

We’ll wait …

Are you ready for this answer?

You’re not ready for this answer; you can’t be.

Oh, so you really want the answer, huh?

Well, here goes.

Because it was tired!

Get it?! Tired? You get it, right? Right? Hey, what are you doing?! Don’t flip that page on us just yet! There will be plenty of time to read local restaurant features in a minute. For just one moment, can you please appreciate the devastating double entendre that could only possibly be deployed by a crafty and devilishly handsome scribe?

Of course, it was no joking matter July 10 when a black Mercedes SUV literally drove through the storefront glass window of Commonplace Books in Midtown. Thankfully, there were zero injuries.

The SUV apparently came to a stop in the children’s section. Owner Benjamin Nockels said in an interview with he was happy the vehicle burst through at a time the area was vacant.

“It sounded like a truck hit the building. It was explosive,” Nockels told NewsOK.

Apparently, the frazzled driver of the SUV had just hit another car at a nearby intersection and was pulling into a curbside parking spot when they slammed the accelerator instead of the brake pedal. That person should definitely be thanking their lucky stars the situation wasn’t a lot worse. We’re sure some store patrons were half-expecting an Irish Setter to hop out of the driver’s seat asking for a copy of Go, Dog. Go!

We here at Chicken-Fried News have read our fair share of pop-up books, but this sudden burst breaks too many fourth walls for our taste. This SUV should reverse course and try another draft, one that really drives it all home.

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