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Chicken-Fried News: Shady satchel


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People lose things a lot. Sunglasses, lip balm, car keys, wallets, purses — if you can think of it, you’ve probably misplaced it at some point. Yes, sometimes, abandoned packages and bags can be dangerous and filled with drugs or explosives. But sometimes a bag is just a bag.

Police closed off Harvey Avenue between NW Ninth and 10th streets Jan. 21 because a “suspicious” bag was discovered, reported. “Miscellaneous items” were found in the bag. What was suspicious about it? Was it strange colors? Did it have something weird growing on it? Did it have stickers that said “anarchy” or “terrorist”?

And let’s be honest; if it was found in Midtown, how dangerous could it really be? Drunk Suzy probably dropped it while stumbling out to her car after hanging out with her friends in a trendy restaurant.

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