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Chicken-Fried News: Shattering doors

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INGVARD ASHBY
  • Ingvard Ashby

Shopping at Walmart has enough risks. The prevalence of hyper-processed food will lead to all sorts of negative health outcomes if one of those falling boxes from a towering shelf doesn’t land on you.

Shoppers at a Walmart Neighborhood Market Walmart near SE 59th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue were in for a surprise last week when a recently stolen car barreled through its front doors.

There were no injuries reported during the incident that began as a reported auto burglary near SW 44th Street and Santa Fe Avenue, according to KFOR. The two suspects took police on a chase, and we’re not sure why they drove into the store. Maybe they thought they could drive the car through the store and out the other side. Maybe they got it confused with the other Walmart around the corner that’s actually a hologram projection over their secret bad-guy lair.

After crashing, the suspects tried to run away but were quickly apprehended.

“Something like that happen, we’re lucky somebody didn’t get run over. Somebody could’ve died like that,” Walmart employee Austin Davis told KFOR. “I’m just glad everybody’s safe. Now they’re gonna pay a lot of thousands of dollars on that door.”

The truth is that insurance will cover the costs for our overlords in the Walton family, but it’s the employees at Walmart — already working for an employer that does everything in its power not to pay a living wage and health benefits — that had to clean up the mess.

Only a few weeks after the rush of Black Friday, the already-overworked Walmart employees had yet another challenge to overcome. It’s a reminder to be nice to service workers.

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