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Chicken-Fried News: Slithery slope?

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The citizens of Norman are fighting tooth and fang to keep hold of their Mojave Bumblebee Pythons.

Norman Police Deputy Chief Jim Maisano recently told KOCO 5 News that the city is reviewing its animal ordinances. Its committee of veterinarians and various community members, he said, requested that snakes, pythons and boa constrictors be added to a list of “exotic animals” banned from city limits.

Not since Genesis has the serpent been so scorned.

On average, Norman deals with six to 10 exotic animal complaints per year. In the same news report, Norman mayoral candidate and snake owner Gary Barksdale said the proposed ban was absurd.

“Basically, government, stay out of our lives,” he said. “It’s a matter of personal freedom.”

Sound familiar? How many for the snake ban also staunchly support the Second Amendment? Though the mere of thought of owning a pet boa constrictor might have caused Washington to choke on his ivory molars, what might the Founding Fathers have said about the right to bear reptiles?

Fortunately for ophidiophobes (look it up), there’s no constitutional provision protecting snake ownership. A final ordinance reading and vote is expected at the city council’s March 8 meeting. Here’s hoping Barksdale and other snake supporters show up in full Charlton Heston-style force.

“You can take my Gopher Snake ... from my cold, dead hands!

Print headline: Slithery slope?

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