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Chicken-Fried News: Spiritual cleansing

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If thoughts of Civic Center Music Hall being haunted by demons was keeping you awake all night, you can start getting some restful sleep again.

Roman Catholic Archbishop Paul S. Coakley, who was adamantly against a satanic black mass held in the hall in September, “pray[ed] prayers of exorcism over the place” the morning after — so now all the creepy crawlies and evil ghosties are gone and won’t interrupt any theater performances, no matter how questionable.

He promised.

Adam Daniels, a member of the Dakhma of Angra Mainyu satanic church, said the black mass was a mockery intended to diminish fear of the Catholic Church.

While Breitbart News Network reported that 42 people attended the black mass, an estimated 1,600 Catholic dissenters prayed outside the theater.

But Coakley wanted to be more thorough.

“From the beginning, we have taken seriously the dark and dangerous spirits being invited into our community,” Coakley said in a statement. “We anticipated this would be a concern for those visiting the Civic Center, and we’ve received many questions about the safety of the building following the satanic ritual.”

Although NewsOK.com reported that the exorcism was a short, quiet affair, we can’t help thinking of Linda Blair’s epic projectile-vomiting scene in The Exorcist.

“The power of Christ compels you!”

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