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Chicken-Fried News: Still ride


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  • Fried chicken drumstick in isolated white background

Frontier City’s Silver Bullet roller coaster: the thrill ride for people who don’t have anywhere they particularly need to be for the next few hours.

From the people who brought us last summer’s blockbuster hit Local Amusement Park Roller Coaster Gets Stuck in Midair comes a thrilling sequel sure to leave audiences on the edge of their seats — at least until firefighters bring out the cherry picker to get them back down again.

Earlier this month, dozens of amusement park guests were stranded atop the peak of Frontier City’s Silver Bullet, one of its most well-known attractions. According to a report, the ride became stuck at around 11:25 a.m. All the guests were safely removed by 1:15 p.m. with no reported injuries.

Many remember when the rollercoaster got stuck less than a year ago in June. State inspectors credited that stoppage to a power failure.

So why is it called the Silver Bullet again? Is it because, like werewolves, it stops guests cold in their tracks? Perhaps the reason is because the ride’s technical engineering is about as sophisticated as a can of light beer.

We at Chicken-Fried News have a genius marketing idea that we’ll share, gratis. If Frontier City is unable to fix the ride’s stalling problem, the park should just spin it as part of the experience.

“Come ride the Silver Bullet!” they’ll say. “It’s the only rollercoaster with a built-in selfie intermission!”

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