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Chicken-Fried News: Strip search

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There’s more than one way to bring home the bacon.

Oklahoma City Police say stuffing packages of the meat candy into your shirt at a grocery store shouldn’t be one of them.

On March 1, Oklahoma City Police Department posted a picture to its official Facebook page of a man accused of stealing six packages of bacon from Smart Saver, 2001 NE 23rd St. The photo was taken from the store’s surveillance system.

According to the Facebook post, the man left the store with $30 worth of bacon concealed under his shirt. When confronted by an employee, he refused to relinquish the breakfast staple or pay for his haul.

“Hey, I like bacon as much as the next guy,” the OKCPD Facebook post said, “but you can’t just go around stealing it.”

Bacon is regarded by many as one of the finest delicacies available to man. To be honest, writing about it alone is making this Chicken-Fried News writer quite hungry. There are a lot of things bacon lovers would do for a strip of the good stuff — some of which we’d probably not be proud to admit.

Still, laws are laws. If everyone stole six pounds of bacon, the world would eventually run out. And who would want to live in a place without bacon?

So next time you pull up a chair at your breakfast diner of choice, be thankful that there’s plenty of bacon and eggs for all of us. And be sure to save a seat for a certain hungry local news correspondent.

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