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Chicken-Fried News: Tender foot

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Shoes. They’re good for feet. Or are they?

Yes. They are. Who said they aren’t? Crazy people on Facebook probably. You shouldn’t listen to those people.

Then again, have you heard shoe people talk about shoes? Heel bags. Foamposite material. Collar lockdown. If you know what those things are, you either work for a shoe company or you’re really, very, desperately interested in what Thunder star Kevin Durant is wearing during games.

Durant, or Oklahoma City Jesus, has his own line of shoes from Nike, and he wears them to play basketball. But then he hurt his foot and everybody was sad because he’s a legitimately nice guy and also helps the team win a lot.

Now people are worried about which generation of his own shoes Durant is wearing to play. Are low-tops safe for his ankles? Are high-tops providing enough support? Can he play in thigh-high boots that’ll show off his sexy gams? What if he was in a full-body cast and just controlled a basketball robot with his brain?

Until basketbrain becomes a real sport, Kev will just keep wearing KD8 shoes and people will be scared that he’s going to fall down. And if he does get hurt, do not go on Facebook to talk about it, because those people are insane.

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