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Dangerous underpants result in full-body airport scanners

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First we had to take out shoes off, then we weren't permitted liquids, now we have to play doctor.
Following the attempted Christmas Day underpants bombing, airports around the world are stepping up security with full body scanners. We bet they don't even buy you flowers first or tell you you're special. Nope, without so much as a free cocktail or an "I never do this sort of thing," the ruthless body scanner takes a look to make sure there's nothing foreign strapped to your bum.

And don't think Oklahoma is immune, thanks to the Transportation Security Administration. Our own Will Rogers World Airport is planning to get some scanners, and Tulsa International Airport already has one through a pilot program. This has Chicken-Fried News intern Bucky getting mighty protective of his manliness.

"TSA had intended to roll out some of these out even before the Christmas incident," said Karen Carney, marketing coordinator for Will Rogers. "Since then, I believe they've increased the number they will eventually place.

"We really don't have a time frame of when we receive them. A lot of it is when they become available and when we have space for them."

Joe Reiss, American Science and Engineering's vice president of marketing, told National Public Radio that the scanners don't reveal much. And Carney said the person viewing is in another room separated from the scanned individual.

"We're not showing any detail of the person themselves really; (it's) just confined to the outline ... almost silhouette-ish in nature," Reiss told NPR.

TSA officials told the Web site Oklahoma Watchdog that faces are blurred, but that hasn't settled everybody's fears. Norman resident Kaye Beach reportedly said she would refuse to use the scanner.

"It's an affront to my dignity. This is America. We are not prisoners," Beach told Watchdog.
According to Andrea McCauley, a TSA spokesperson out of Dallas, Beach won't have to go through the scanner.

"It's absolutely optional," she told Watchdog. "We understand some passengers don't feel comfortable passing through them."

It may be embarrassing to think that some guy in the next room is checking you out in your birthday suit, but just think what else he sees. While some in line may look like Thunder Girls, there's also a fair share (or, considering obesity stats, more than the fair share) of FUPAs. Just think about feasting your eyes on that for a quick second.

McCauley told Watchdog the scanners will be installed all over the country, with 150 going out the first part of the year and another 300 already ordered. Carney said Will Rogers remains on the list along with 150 other airports nationwide. That's a whole lot of derrieres to get through.

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