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While it’s not hard to imagine the state Legislature holding a special joint session to sing that song with as much gusto as “God Bless America,” it had an opportunity last week to prove how sacred sperm can be.

“Personhood” legislation is making its way through the Legislature. The measure grants all rights and privileges to a fertilized human egg, a move that abortion-rights advocates see as a circuitous route to outlawing all abortions.
But an opponent of the bill, Sen. Constance Johnson, showed real spunk in testing how far into a woman’s uterus the Legislature is willing to go. She submitted an amendment to make it illegal for a man to offer his baby batter anywhere but the inside of a woman.

The amendment read: “However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child,” a would-be law that, if enacted, would make every teenage boy’s hamper a crime scene.

Johnson later voted to table the amendment since she was only trying to make a point — presumably that it’s not acceptable to tell men what they can do with their own bodies.

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