Glee: The Music, The Christmas Album
WHATDYA BRING ME?: Sick of those Glee kids yet? Dont answer yet! Let them present their peculiarly popular brand of glossy karaoke on holiday classics first, with the strangely titled Glee: The Music, The Christmas Album, because Glee: The Christmas Album just wasnt descriptive enough.
CANDY CANES: A stomp-rap version of Deck the Halls, rechristened as Deck the Rooftop is amusing enough. Lea Micheles pipes are put to the test on O Holy Night and succeed. The two-men duet of Baby, Its Cold Outside is bland, but would give Sally Kern the shivers.
LUMPS OF COAL: k.d. lang helps make Youre a Mean One, Mr. Grinch lifeless. Everything else feels like Magic 104s nonstop Christmas music is being fed to you via IV.
GIFT IT TO: Pre-teens and that one flamboyant uncle who never married and has no kids.
BUT NOT: Diabetics.
Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks, Crazy for Christmas
BRING ME?: Folk/bluegrass singer/songwriter Dan Hicks renders a mix of
well-known and original Yuletide tracks in his loosey-goosey lo-fi
CANDY CANES: You havent really heard Carol of the Bells until youve heard it turn into cowboy scat.
LUMPS OF COAL: Not quite as Crazy as its all made out to be.
GIFT IT TO: Greg Johnson at The Blue Door.
BUT NOT: Anyone who frequents Opolis or The Conservatory.
Gift Wrapped Vol.
II: Snowed In
WHATDYA BRING ME?: Twenty-one chestnuts from the Warner
Bros. catalog get re-roasted for this compilation, including cuts from
Regina Spektor, Devo, Oasis and The Flaming Lips, who beat up Little
CANES: Stardeath and White Dwarfs turn Wham!s White Christmas into a
spooky, haunting wrist-slitter, while The Red Elephant delivers a
laid-back, ice-cool instrumental with Brooklyn Sleigh Ride.
LUMPS OF COAL: Who the hell invited adult-contemporary hack David Foster to this party?
GIFT IT TO: Your hipster nephew who thinks hes too cool for Christmas. (Hes not.)
BUT NOT: Your grandfather who still doesnt get all this crazy rock n roll nonsense. (And he never will.)
Jackie Evancho, O Holy Night
BRING ME?: A soprano from Americas Got Talent follows up her debut
album with a holiday CD to make you feel even more like an
underachieving George Bailey. Because shes 10 years old.
CANDY CANES: Damn, this girl can sing! Youll swear she was three times her age.
LUMPS OF COAL: Only four songs? Child labor laws, maybe?
GIFT IT TO: Your grandmother and friends at church.
BUT NOT: Anyone legally bound to notify others upon moving in to a neighborhood.
Annie Lennox: A Christmas Cornucopia
BRING ME?: The former Eurythmics singer possesses one of the most
unique voices in music, as evidenced on these dozen classics.
CANES: Lennox deserves points for tackling some relative obscurities
(Il Est Né Le Divin Enfant, anyone?), utilizing the African Childrens
Choir, and daring to use a whistle.
OF COAL: With every track nonsecular, the overall disc grows a little
sleepy. And, hey, why no O Holy Night on a faith-driven record?
GIFT IT TO: Your mom and infants with colic.
BUT NOT: Dave Stewart or members of the Church of the IV Crown Princes.