Instead of fetching coffee, Bucky has been hunkered in his cubicle, reading a review copy of this new book "SuperFreakonomics" by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. Every now and then, he looks up to read us some interesting fact from its pages. One of them was that sharks only kill about four people a year worldwide, whereas elephants claim 200. The authors blame the media's lack of coverage of elephant rampage for the public's lack of pachyderm fear.
Let us help correct that: Panic! You're all going to die under a big, stinky foot of an elephant!
Don't believe that the day of the animals is at hand? Look no farther than Garfield County, where an elephant escaped from the Family Fun Circus last week, headed for the North U.S. 81 Bypass and sideswiped a car.
According to The Enid News and Eagle (don't even get us started on eagles), Sgt. Billy Varney of the Enid Police Department said the vehicle was able to drive away, but not without some damage, in the form a hole made by the puncture of a tusk. (Cue Fleetwood Mac.)
As for the mammoth creature, it broke that tusk, hurt its leg, and suffered a few bruises, bumps and scratches. Before being sedated and loaded onto a semi-trailer, it injured the ribs of one of its handlers.
A press release from advocacy organization In Defense of Animals claims the culprit has a history of going nutzo: "In June of 2008, the elephant Kamba and another elephant named Conga (were) spooked during a tornado when they were performing with Culpepper & Merriweather Circus in WaKeeney, Kan. The elephants broke from their chains and were on the loose for three hours, running through town, causing property damage and frightening residents."
The same day as the elephant vs. SUV bout, the newspaper also reported some elementary school boys would be performing a "Real Men Sing" show at the Enid Symphony Center, but that falls on deaf ears unless it's interrupted by a pissed-off, runaway pachyderm.