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Energizer bill



Most of the public has become aware of delay tactics used by lawmakers when they oppose or have serious concerns over a bill. Words like filibuster, grandstanding and amendment come to mind.

But one Oklahoma legislator has found what has to be one of the more unique ways for the provisions of a bill to take a while before it can go into effect. House Bill 3224 would require assisted living centers to have generators in case of a power outage. Authored by Rep. Joe Dorman, D-Rush Springs, the bill was presented to the House Public Health Committee.

According to The Oklahoman, Dorman said he wrote the bill because a constituent told him of concern for a relative who was in an assisted living center when the facility lost power during a storm.

But Rep. Jason Nelson, R-Oklahoma City, had a concern of his own. He voiced that it might take some time for assisted living centers to come into compliance with such a law. No worry, however, the young lawmaker had a solution: Simply attach an amendment to the bill giving the facilities time to get generators.

So how much time does Nelson think living centers need to get a generator? A year, maybe? How about five years? OK, make it 10 years. Remember, these are just your average generators, the kind you can pick up at Home Depot the day before a storm hits.

No, that still wasn't enough for Nelson to be satisfied. He was thinking sometime in the distant future, say, oh, about 1,000 years? Yes, that is the number Nelson had in mind with his amendment. Assisted living centers would have until the year 3010 to get a generator.

Of course, by then, electricity will probably come from the latest iPhone version, or we will evolve and be able to create our own power through human natural gas. Taking Nelson's nod, Bucky (the Chicken-Fried News) intern has been practicing rubbing his butt cheeks together, hoping that presto, the lights will come on.

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