Everyone knows America is in one of the worst economic recessions the country has ever faced. So you know things are really bad when someone gets desperate enough to steal a stuffed ape.
The Enid News & Eagle reported the town's infamous fake primate sitting outside Cliff's Camera and Digital store has gone missing. Described as a large plush ape, weighing about 15 pounds and standing 2 feet tall, the stuffed animal had become a mainstay of the business and town for a decade and a half. Its owner, Cliff Morton, kept the beast chained outside his shop during business hours. Not quite sure why a stuffed ape would need to be restrained, but that's none of our business.
"All of our customers this week have said, 'Oh, you lost your ape,'" Morton told the newspaper. "If he's out there, they assume we're open."
He said he usually brings the animal in when closing the shop, but forgot on a recent Friday and discovered it was gone when checking the mail at the store the next day. According to the article, Cliff's Camera and Digital has been in business for 61 years, 48 of those at the same location. The ape has been the store's greeter for the last 15.
The story reported the animal has gone missing before; police picked up some youth at 3 a.m. one time who were toting it around. Morton said he doesn't care who took it; all will be forgiven it is returned safely. We guess that means with all the stuffing still intact.
"I'd offer a small reward, too," Morton said to the newspaper, with a laugh. "Of course, I wouldn't want to pay it to the guys who stole it."