The call that came into the Durant Police Department was sorta "¦ odd, according to the Durant Daily Democrat: Someone left shrubs in the road.
Shrubs? Like roses? No. Shrubs, as in pot, marijuana, weed, wacky tobaccy. Well, seeing as how Durant (pronounced "doo-rant" by locals) is one of the bastions of enlightenment in southeastern Oklahoma, with a college and all, shrubs do exist there. Chicken-Fried News has confirmed this with extensive research.
The shrubs were in plastic pots strewn all over the roadway on Wilson Street, west of 49th Avenue, according to the story.
When a Durant officer went to the scene around 4:30 a.m., he found 236 potted plants of hippie lettuce scattered along nearly a mile of Wilson. The road reefer stood approximately 4-feet tall in plastic pots (hence, "pot," we suppose).
Agents with the Bryan County District Attorney's Drug Task Force showed up, and with the help of undersheriff Ken Golden, picked up all the street stank.
Agent Chuck Carroll told the Democrat that the cannabis was worth $2,000 per pot, worth nearly half a million dollars in total. He said the skizzunk appeared to be professionally grown.
"These were nice plants," Carroll said. "Some of them were starting to bud."
Dude, don't cry like that. And if that don't beat all, further details leaked out, according to another story appearing in The Oklahoman. Authorities speculated in that story that a squabble between intimates might have led to the gone ganja.
"Strangest thing I've ever seen," Carroll said. "That (a domestic dispute) is the first thing that came to our minds. Someone wanted this marijuana to be found."
The plants went to where all good weed goes " the big bong in the sky. The agents commandeered the local county commish to dig a big hole, dump all them purty scoobie snacks into it, and burn it all with some diesel, a real southeast Oklahoma Viking funeral.
"Crazy. Someone's Christmas is going to be lean this year," Carroll said. "A half-million dollars' worth of marijuana up in smoke."
That's harsh, man. Way to kill a buzz.