They have something to do with a 5,000-year-old Egyptian relic called the Horns of Werethekau and one Dr. Torres who has the power to resurrect the dead, but youre likely to have forgotten that when the opening credits finally finish up four minutes later. And youre equally likely to forget the entire movie 82 minutes after that, at its merciful end.
Under the radar since his role on TVs short-lived cult hit Space: Above and Beyond in the mid-1990s, Morgan Weisser plays a screenwriter who moves into a room in an isolated mansion so he can get some work done without distractions. Too bad, because he suffers a stroke and the doctor who lives in the room above (Crystal Laws Green, A Family Thing) fixes him all up, yet harbors mysterious powers that arent so mysterious since the aforementioned title cards ruin any suspense the story may have.
Let me rephrase: Lovecrafts original short story, written nearly nine decades ago, has it. Pyun's adaptation does not.
While its admirable that tribute is paid to the source material by sticking with some of Lovecrafts words, they simply dont fit these contemporary times, as Weissers narration makes painfully clear. Instead of meals, he says, squares; instead of unusual, he says, queer.
Instead of autistic hottie, he says ... well, that means that, and as portrayed by Jenny Dare Paulin (daughter of Scott Paulin, who was Pyuns Red Skull in Cap), its one of the most embarrassing performances youre apt to witness. At least she tries.
Once the full-screen word animations arrive, you wont be asking, What the hell?, but, Why am I still watching? Rod Lott