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Inhofe investigates Case of the Missing Language

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This was a dandy, all right. CFN imagines our own Sen. James Inhofe, during his biennial reading of the U.S. Constitution, noticed something was amiss. He must have pulled out his magnifying glass and decoder ring. Yup. Something was definitely wrong with the document of the Founding Fathers. Then Inhofe probably opened his super spy notebook, and wrote  in his best penmanship, "The Case of the Missing Language."

Inhofe, no doubt discovering the blatant oversight of the men who founded this country of immigrants, is just trying to right a wrong with his new English-only bill.

"Our nation was settled by a group of people with a common vision," the Republican said May 6 according to the Tulsa World. "As our population has grown, so has our cultural diversity. This diversity is part of what makes our nation great. However, we must be able to communicate with one another so that we can appreciate our differences."

Wait. Now just hold up a sec. Isn't a big part of appreciating and celebrating diversity embracing the different languages that have always populated this country? Now, we're not senators, but doesn't forcing everyone to speak a common language dilute diversity?

Inhofe's proposed legislation also requires all official functions " like, you know, becoming a citizen " be conducted in English. That'll teach those darn foreigners to learn their native language from birth.

But, Inhofe isn't the only Oklahoman bringing up the language thing. House Joint Resolution 1042, declaring English the official language of Oklahoma, just passed the state House and goes to a vote of the people.

Inhofe recognized the efforts by state Rep. Randy Terrill and state Sen. Anthony Sykes when he introduced his own nationwide legislation.

"I am especially pleased to be introducing these bills (May 6) because just hours ago in my home state the Oklahoma state Legislature passed a joint resolution in support of English as the official language."

Now, doesn't this make us all feel warm and fuzzy, like one big xenophobic family?

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