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Lardy loot

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Like squirrels preparing for winter, two women braved the wild world of T.J. Maxx, allegedly smuggling provisions to endure the holiday season in style. Between the two of them, the would-be shoplifters are accused of squirreling away about $2,600 worth of merchandise in their fat folds.

The two suspects were arrested for shoplifting and face felony charges, after being nabbed by hawkish loss prevention officers on Nov. 24, reported KFOR-TV.

A bashful Officer Hamm of Edmond PD fumbled for the appropriate words to explain the caper, which had a fat chance: "These two individuals were actually concealing (the merchandise), um, in areas of their body where excess skin was, underneath their, um, chest area, um, and up around their armpits, and things of that nature. And they were concealing large items. "¦ One of the individuals had three boots concealed underneath her breasts and bra."

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