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Least Competent Criminals

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A 16-year-old boy was arrested in Toronto in February after he emerged from a CIBC bank with about $150,000 (Cdn) stuffed in a sack. Despite numerous Hollywood movies emphasizing the need for speed in a bank robbery, the kid had dawdled inside for more than 45 minutes after the silent alarm had been pressed, collecting cash not only from the vault and tellers, but from customers, and by the time he walked out, the bank was surrounded by cops.

Pat Dykstra, 51, of Fox Lake, Wis., was persuaded by bar patrons, including her boyfriend, that she was too drunk to drive and so took responsibility by calling 911 from her truck to ask that the sheriff send someone to follow her home, according to a January Milwaukee Journal Sentinel story. (Dykstra then ended the call by telling the dispatcher how dangerous it is to drive while on the phone.) When deputies caught up to Dykstra, she registered a .14 blood-alcohol reading, well over the maximum permitted.

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