Now that the most holy of holidays is over and we're back at work " bah, humbug " it's time to clear our offices of the multitude of Christmas cards. We appreciate the Hallmark moments, everyone, but clutter is clutter, especially non-seasonal. But before the well wishes are totally trashed, CFN would like to bestow some awards upon them. Maybe these honors, like the tradition of cards itself, will become an annual thing. (If a year from now, we're as short on space, ideas and manpower as we are this week, you can bet it will!)
Most Impressive Die Cut: Impressions Printing. Then again, it has an unfair advantage.
Most Educational: Science Museum of Oklahoma. Its cartoony card depicted the three "Santa Claus of motion," including acceleration and external force. But do those laws apply when the man in question is fictional?
Most Stinging Inscription: HBO. No doubt due to our glowing recommendations, one of our former interns now works for the cable giant in New York City. He signed the card with, "I wish I had a 'True Blood' season 2 box set to send you!" Yeah. So do we.
Best Xeroxed Insert: Oklahoma County Commissioner Brian Maughan. Falling out of his card was his folded, photocopied version of the dreaded Christmas letter. But rather than bragging about expensive, round-the-globe trips and how much smarter his kids are than yours, Maughan played it cool, recalling the concerts he saw in 2009 " all 34 of them " including U2, Wanda Jackson, Miranda Lambert and Big Trash Day. Wait a sec " Big Trash Day? You mean if I throw away a headboard or tree limbs and wait for the garbage truck to pick them up, I'll be serenaded, too? Tax dollars at work!
Most Gratuitous Use of Glitter: Diagnostic Laboratory of Oklahoma. We're still scrubbing it from our hands.