Men of Oklahoma City, heave your breath and thump that chest. A new report out would make Hans and Franz very proud. OKC ranks as the third manliest city in the country. That's manly, man.
None of the froufrou San Francisco stuff or posh Seattle uppity types. No, we in Oklahoma City like our steaks rare and our vehicles with beds.
The survey was commissioned by Mars Snackfood US and its Combos brand, a company worthy of manly men stuff, and ranked OKC just behind Nashville, Tenn., and Charlotte, N.C.
Odd, second place went to a city with a girl's name? Oh well, on to manly stuff.
The rankings were based on criteria like the number of professional sports teams, the popularity of tools and the regularity of monster truck rallies. In other words, men who attend Oklahoma City Thunder games, shop at Home Depot and get their kicks watching a souped-up 4x4 fling mud everywhere. Funny, no mention of expanding waistlines or rounding up illegal immigrants. No matter, back to gruff stuff.
According to the survey, if a city engaged in "emasculating" behavior, they were deducted points. Those characteristics include an abundance of home furnishing stores (surveyors must have stayed away from western Reno Avenue), high minivan sales (they also apparently avoided Moore) and subscription rates to beauty magazines. But hot-rod magazines are covered with beauties and you can't walk into a 7-Eleven store and not see one giving you a beguiling smile from a rack.
So, what does a city get for being one of the three manliest cities in America? Not sure yet, but it can't be good news for Mayor Mick Cornett's efforts to put the city on a diet.