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Oklahoma woman allegedly encounters goat sucker

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Sasquatch has some competition for "monster of Oklahoma" with the recent discovery of a dead, allegedly mythical creature in Stilwell.

A woman, who didn't want to be named (we wonder why), sent in pictures on Sept. 1 to KOTV News on 6 of what appears to be a dead, hairless fawn with a pretty sizable overbite. Or, you know, the mythical "goat sucker" of Latin America. Either or.

The good ol' chupa must be migrating or something, because a few more dead ones were recently discovered in a small town south of San Antonio, according to Huliq News. Those chupas need to get better at staying hydrated " that would probably stop the deaths.

And what keeps a chupacabra hydrated, you ask? Let's bring in Special Agent Fox Mulder (by way of Wikipedia) to explain: The chupacabra comes in two varieties, scary and extra scary (we'll get to that in a moment), and it is said to feed on blood and sometimes organs of animals, hence the name "goat sucker." The chupacabra sucks all the blood out of its victim through one or two holes.

One description of a chupacabra claims the creature looks like a particularly ugly dog, hairless with a spinal ridge, big eyes and, of course, fangs and claws.

The other description goes into a lot more detail " and with a lot more lore. This chupa is closer to reptile than dog, with leathery or scaly skin that is a sickly green-gray and some handy quills running down its back. The creature also hops (yes, like an evil kangaroo), has a forked tongue and packs some serious fangs. But wait, there's more!

Chupa 2.0 is also said to hiss, screech and give off a lovely sulfuric stench. And, just to add a bit more, its eyes go glowingly red, which witnesses have said gives them nausea (we ask " the spines, hopping and fangs weren't inducing nausea?)

According to Huliq News, the chupacabras found in Texas look more like the gentle chupa, which means this is where Dana Scully pops in to say, "then it's probably a mutant dog." Come on, Scully, don't you want to believe?

Phylis Canion, who found the Texas chupas, said her chickens weren't eaten or carried off into the night, but instead their blood was drained.

Yeah, that doesn't sound like a dog to us either.

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