Arts & Culture » Film

Piranha 3DD



It is there in the prologue where two former Okies (Gary Busey and Clu Gulager) and a farting dead cow get the party started, sending hatched baby piranha to Merkin County, Ariz. — a joke that should calibrate you with the movie's wavelength ... as if the bra-size title didn't do that already. (I'd like to go on the record for predicting, if not outright giving, the sequel the idea of its name in my review of its predecessor.)

Fulfilling the role of heroine is fledgling scream queen Danielle Panabaker (from the Friday the 13th and The Crazies remakes) as Maddy, home from grad school to find that her stepdad, Chet (David Koechner, Final Destination 5), has renovated the water park they co-own into part strip club: The Big Wet, "where double Ds swim free," per the TV ads.

Chet hires Baywatch star David Hasselhoff to make a personal appearance on the grand reopening day; the piranha merely crash the party uninvited, via illegally pumped-in water. This results in sequence after sequence of Big Wet patrons — many comically topless — being chewed and torn to bloody pieces. That's the whole reason for Piranha 3DD's existence, of course, not that there's anything wrong with that.

I certainly don't think there is, because like its naughty big brother, this naughtier sibling is all about over-the-top silliness. Several scenes make the first flick look like a model of subtlety by comparison. I'm thinking specifically of the big moment with Katrina Bowen (Tucker & Dale vs Evil) — you'll know it when you see it — just one of many big, broad gags played for sick-joke laughs.

Sometimes, such an exercise is what you need; I admit, I kinda loved it. But it could've stood to bring back UK model Kelly Brook. So what if her character became fish food in the previous one? Could she not have an equally sexy twin?

Just a few principals from the '10 Piranha return: Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, Paul Scheer, male genital mutilation. The omnipresent self-parody remains intact, too, if a little dumbed-down. That's not necessarily a complaint since several of the stupid jokes made me laugh. Director John Gulager (the Feast trilogy) doesn't have the style of Alexandre Aja, but he's serviceable enough. After all, directing spewing vomit in slow motion 3-D doesn't require much.

Unless you have a Blu-ray player capable of three dimensions, Piranha 3DD is just going to be Piranha DD, but what's wrong with that? It's too much fun to find much fault, even if the story barely runs more than an hour; the final 12 minutes of padding are composed of credits, bloopers and other party-minded tomfoolery. Stay all the way to the end to witness just how great Hasselhoff is in this thing.

Did I just write that? ... Yes, it appears that I did.

Extras flood this release. Three deleted scenes (that's all?) are included, all centered around the loutish, obese character played by Adrian Martinez (Casa de Mi Padre). A featurette offers two more minutes of proof that Busey may be certifiably crazy, not that anyone needed it.

And speaking of entries in the unnecessary department, the Blu-ray also houses A Lesson with John, a four-minute comedy short starring tennis legend John McEnroe as himself, and it's anything but funny. I'm not even sure why it's here, since there's no apparent connection to the movie.

The disc opens with a trailer for the direct-to-video sequel The Zombie Diaries 2. It looks like zero fun compared to the ad that follows it: Piranha 3DD: The Game. —Rod Lott

Hey! Read This:
Casa de Mi Padre Blu-ray review  
The Crazies DVD review  
Final Destination 5 Blu-ray review    
Friday the 13th film review    
Piranha (1978) DVD review  
Piranha 3D Blu-ray review   
Tucker & Dale vs Evil Blu-ray review    

Add a comment