From people and places to the Gazette itself covering these last 52 weeks, we once more not-so-proudly present a handful of additional rankings, in an attempt to satiate your need to have everything numbered in a nice, orderly fashion, but not limited to five slots.
Just remember: Be careful what you wish for. Parental guidance suggested.
8 Best Smart-Aleck and/ or Logic-Challenged Responses We Received in This Years Best of OKC Nominations:
1. Best place to have lunch: gopworms
2. Best sushi: cattlemans (lambfries pictured)
3. Best vegetarian or healthy menu options: yuck
4. Best meal under 10 bucks: lowes
5. Best place for a cheap date: The back seat of my car
6. Best dance club: buffalo wings
7. Best place to take out-of-towners: motel 8
8. Best place to have cosmetic procedures performed: Youre way too fucking RICH!!, dont do it its evil11 Best Lines from Our Food Articles That, Taken out of Context, Read Like Cheap Pornography:
1. Keep your shades on while you eat, and you wont see the meat juice spurting out onto your clothes as you attempt to pack this wondrous burger into your mouth.
2. No more squeezing on tomatoes or thumping melons!
3. Have your own testicle festival and pair a couple she said. Pull on your eatin pants and get out there.
4. The owners have it hanging, otherwise the servers would be playing it all the time.
5. Sausage comes in every shape, size and flavor.
6. All right, so you worked hard and took off that holiday weight. Good! That means that you can chomp on some nuts.
7. After a couple of bites your breathing gets labored.
8. A woman at the table next to us was shrieking with delight every few minutes.
9. (It) slaps that sucker in between a 12-inch bun.
10. They are yet undecided on whether a special sauce will be offered but hope to satisfy people with their particular desires.
11. Theyre whipping out wieners in Bricktown 5 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. every Thursday through Sunday.8 Best Lines from Some Out-There Letters to the Editor Were Not Printing:
1. This happening, especially on weekends and also during Sparks America Bike Week when multitudes of unknowing out of town visitors are fleeced by gun and badge, of their monetary possessions that you dare not question their treatment of these passerby travelers stopped in this small town or a Mayberry RFD, shaky handed Barney type will readily pull his gun and demand, that you move on down the road.
2. I could not believe it, there she was in shorts and a tight blouse, wanting me to wash and lube her car ($2.50).
3. Now that the GOVERNMENT has more or less forced HIGH DEFINITION television on anyone who wants a television set, I want to know why we still see murders, weather and sports (and rapes) on our televisions.
4. And if you let 200 more white male homosexual men raise another two black male children in about 50 years the BLACK RACE should be almost gone. FROM A BLACK WOMAN AND I KNOW YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS OR DID YOU? AND THAT IS THE WHOLE PLAN.
5. I dont have a clue who that radio sports unenthusiast was or what AM channel/station I was listening to.
6. People will come to Okla. so they can hunt humans. Every NUTCASE in Oklahoma will be out on the streets and in the stores WITH A GUN! ARE YOU NUTS??
7. Simply put Chung Li was the head of the worlds largest and wealthiest criminal network. The MSM also knew all about him. Did you ever hear the name Chung Li other than from yours truly?
8. you might as well have made the subhead Welcome to Sodom & Gomorrah! (which ALSO wouldve steered the good readers away from the article).12 Best Completely Gratuitous Uses of the F-Bomb Dropped Within Our Pages by Musicians:
1. Its a fucking experience. Dustin Kuykendall, Left Foot Sally
2. Some kid comes up to you after the show and asks and youre like, I have no fucking clue. Josh James, Evergreen Terrace
3. Its because I grew up making no fucking money at all in rock n roll. Eddie Money (pictured, handsomely)
4. We would hide our vehicle, because they always wanted to fuck your vehicle up when they were pissed at you.Merle Allin, The Murder Junkies
5. Its stuff that I was worried to put into Black Moth ... I thought it might be too fucked-up.Tom Fec, Black Moth Super Rainbow
6. I can do punk, I can do flamenco, I can do mambo, anything I fucking want to do, anything that is ridiculous that pops into my head, and thats the beauty of The Meatmen.Tesco Vee, The Meatmen
7. But then tattoos got really popular, and you have people coming up to you in grocery stores little old ladies saying, I love your devil head. What does it say? Fuck? Mike Riggs, Scum of the Earth
8. Nobody who went to a Mötley Crüe show would say their concerts werent just big fucking parties. Riley Hahn, Soul Crisis
9. It aint some shit where I got a catchy-ass beat and all you like is the beat and the hook, and you dont give a fuck about what Im talking about. Freddie Gibbs
10. I was trying to write another song that everyone loved ... and it was just the most awful fucking shit you could ever write. Michael Benjamin Lerner, Telekinesis
11. My hands were up over my head and I blurted out, Whoa, thats fucking ridiculous.Carolyn Wonderland
12. Thats my old shit now. Thats fucked up. Ben Folds12 Strange-Named Sodas You Can Buy at Pops in Arcadia:
1. Fukola Cola
2. Rat Bastard
3. Avery Bug Barf
4. Squamscot Maple Cream
5. Avery Dog Drool
6. Blenheim Not As Hot
7. Freaky Dog Grrrape
8. Avery Kitty Piddle
9. Foxon Park Diet Gassosa
10. Rejuvenizer from the Scary People
11. Avery Monster Mucus
12. Love Potion No. 69 Pink2 Wholly Wholly Ironic and Perhaps Even Hypocritical Expenses from Rep. Randy Terrills Campaign Reports from December 2008 to May 2010:
1. Alfredos Mexican Cafe, $92.40
2. On the Border Mexican Grill & Cantina, $75.70
10 Inquisitive Tweets from @DanGordon:
1. Going to bed soon, anything I need to know? Aug. 8
2. wakeup call requested for 4:30AM to fly back home to #OKC tomorrow, anything i need to know? Aug. 8
3. going to #Canada soon, anything I need to know? Aug. 6
4. going to bed soon, anything i need to know? July 20
5. going to bed soon, anything i need to know? July 18
6. going to bed soon, anything i need to know? July 17
7. going to bed soon, anything i need to know? July 16
8. going to bed soon, anything i need to know? July 15
9. going to bed soon, anything @texconway needs to know? July 14
10. going to bed soon, anything i need to know? July 1111 Songs from The Spy OKCs Aug. 1 Playlist Whose Titles Wed Like to See Tackled as Topics on Kelly Ogles My 2 Cents Segment:
1. Arctic Monkeys, Dont Sit Down Cause Ive Moved Your Chair
2. Kyle Andrews, Lazer Tag with Imaginary Friends
3. Broncho, Cant Get Past the Lips
4. Gang Gang Dance, Adult Goth
5. Morrissey, Action Is My Middle Name
6. Peter Murphy, I Spit Roses
7. The Vaccines, Post Break-Up Sex
8. The Real Tuesday Weld, (I Always Kill) The Things I Love
9. Stepdad, My Leather, My Fur, My Nails
10. Make Out, I Dont Want Anybody That Wants Me
11. Teddybears featuring The Flaming Lips, Crystal Meth ChristianAnd now...Introducing Rest of Best of OKCs Inaugural Local Theater Publicity Photo Awards!
BEST USE OF MULTIPLE ZIPPERS
Bye Bye Birdie, Lyric Academy
Through the Cracked Mirror, The Stage Door in Yukon