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In case you're worried about getting hit by FSD from the nonfunctional National Reconnaissance Office " or NRO " satellite shot down last week, Sen. James Inhofe issued the following statement to the CFN World Headquarters:


"I commend the men and women of the United States military, especially the sailors aboard the U.S.S. Lake Erie, for the successful intercept of the disabled satellite. The engagement utilized an SM-3 missile fired from an Aegis cruiser, both of which are major components of our integrated ballistic missile defense system. The investments made in this system gave us the rapid capability to eliminate this potential hazard.


"The United States took every precaution to minimize risks to other satellites in orbit and people on the ground. The satellite was shot at low altitude to ensure that the debris would burn up during descent or land in the ocean."


Now you can rest assured, unless you're park-hopping around 3:30 a.m. with several retired people.

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