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Transporter 3



st: To make sure Frank focuses on getting the job done, Frank is fitted with the same sort of bracelet as Valentina, the weird-looking girl (first-timer Natalya Rudakova), was wearing. Incidentally, for "mysterious" reasons, she is accompanying Frank on his trip. The bracelets are set to explode if they get too far away from the car, meaning that when Frank is trying to get free later on, he'll have to employ creative methods to avoid exploding.

So Frank has to drive from place to place with Valentina in tow. Along the way, he will be involved in several dangerous driving situations and kung fu-style fights requiring him to fight entire gangs singlehandedly. As is customary, the gang members are considerate enough to attack Frank one at a time, allowing him to beat a guy's face with a shovel and strangle opponents with his shirt "? a tactic that gets Valentina all hot downstairs as she adoringly looks on. Because what's sexier than watching several men being strangled, mutilated, crushed and brutalized by a balding psychopath? Watching a balding psychopath doing all those things without a shirt on, that's what.

What's worse is sitting through the long passages with Frank and Valentina in the car, which is where all the character "development" happens. The dialogue between the two as they get to know each other is not only insipid, but actually embarrassing. The sex part is so awkward and wrong that it's actually difficult to watch.

"?Mike Robertson


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