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Witchville

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If “Witchville” isn’t the worst, it’s only a step up from that. Essentially a made-for-cable version of that long-delayed Nic Cage flop “Season of the Witch,” this ancient fantasy has red mist swirling about evil presences, and villages’ crop failure blamed on “witchery.” A Bible-thumping oaf gets everyone in town all riled up, spouting nonsense like, “The witches leech the plants’ energy to fuel their dark magic, like a vampire bat sucking life from a lamb.”

It sounds even worse when said with a bellowing, menacing accent reminiscent of the “SCTV” character Count Floyd.

With Malachy (Luke Goss, “Death Race 2”) leading a band of sword-slingers to go kill them some witches, they go on a journey. They meet an Asian woman with face tats who’s not bad at fighting, and Malachy extends an invitation: “Join us. We fight witches.” He is nothing if not succinct.

The main witch in “Witchville” is Jozefa (MyAnna Buring, “The Descent”), but she looks like she jumped out of “Red Riding Hood.” Her mama witch is played by “Superman II”’s Sarah Douglas, sporting more pieces of armor than the movie has minutes. And sorry, but I feel as uninspired in this review as the movie. —Rod Lott

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